If the earth were God’s computer, what utilities would He run to maintain optimum performance?

For example, would God buy a reputable program like Raxco PerfectDisk to keep the earth’s hard drive defragmented? Or, would He instead go on the cheap with some Chinese knock-off like "Hard Diskette Defragmenterer" with a sales line that reads, "Make hard drive faster go!"

Could the latter explain the issues suffered by earth here and now? Are humans the dust clogging the air intake vents in God’s master computer?

He apparently used windows…

Which explains a lot, actually.

He’s getting a new laptop this Christmas.